Celebrating a New Birthday: Monique’s Gift of Life
“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Monique, happy birthday to you!” Those were the last words she remembers hearing nurses sing before Monique received her best gift ever: a new heart.
Monique’s Heart Journey: Joining the National Transplant Waiting List
In her early twenties, Monique was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, which caused her heart valves to leak and she developed arrhythmias. To improve her quality of life, she joined a clinical trial that temporarily brought her heart function back to normal for about two decades. Even though the trial helped, Monique developed heart arrhythmias, causing her heart valves to leak. As her heart condition declined, she found herself hospitalized more often.
During one hospital visit, her doctor told her it was time to be placed on the national transplant waiting list for a new heart. Monique was shocked that her condition had deteriorated so much that she now needed a transplant to survive. She remembered registering to be an organ, eye and tissue donor when she got her driver’s license at 16 years old but never expected she would need to rely on the generosity of an organ donor someday. As she was processing the news, her doctor recommended she stay in the hospital for an additional week to receive a comprehensive test that would evaluate her health for transplant. Monique joined the national transplant waiting list in January 2017.
A Fated Heart Transplant: Grateful for Life and Her Medical Team
One early morning in July 2017, Monique remembers waking up with a gut feeling that she would be getting “the call” that a new heart was available for her. She decided to put her intuition in the back of her mind and went about her day. Monique was preparing meals for the week when her phone rang. She had a potential organ donor hero!
Monique had a few hours to arrive at Inova Fairfax Hospital with her son, Asa. She remembers anticipating her transplant while feeling hopeful about what lay ahead. Monique was texting and calling loved ones to share the exciting news. When it was time, the nurses let Asa walk Monique down the hallway, so she had the comfort of being with her son before going into surgery.
When she saw her nurses, they all introduced themselves. Coincidentally, her three nurses shared the names of her family members—Adriane: her brother, Sadie: her mother and Dave: another brother. After learning their names, Monique truly felt that her heart transplant was meant to be. She told everyone in the transplant room that it felt like her birthday as she was celebrating her gift of life.
Growing Stronger with Each Beat: Surrounded by Supportive Loved Ones
Monique celebrates her one-year heartaversary with friends and family.
When Monique woke up from her transplant, she thanked God for being alive. Then, it hit her just how much pain she was truly in. During her surgery, her new heart failed at transplant and stopped beating. Thankfully, her surgeon revived the heart. After learning this, she knew she could trust her medical team and told herself she would do whatever they said. Together, Monique and her nurses made small goals to start her recovery journey. First, Monique had to sit up in her bed without support, then she had to stand independently and take extra precautions to protect her sternum.
Monique was in the intensive care unit (ICU) for 14 days and was then transferred to a general hospital room for 35 days. After she was released to her home, she would return to the hospital five days later and stay for another 35 days. Monique was experiencing sensitivity to her post-transplant medications. Her kidneys even started failing at one point, and she had to go on short-term dialysis. It took her a while to get the right medication regimen and then for her body to recover.
Monique leaned on those closest to her during this time for support and comfort. Every day, a different loved one came to visit, including Asa who was always there to help. Monique felt blessed during this time because of how many people showed up for her.
Monique’s Cancer Diagnosis: Another Fight for Her Life
Just five years after receiving her heart transplant, Monique began having extreme stomach pains. She already developed irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), and doctors worried it was the onset of pancreatitis. Monique felt like she constantly had the flu. Doctors insisted she get a biopsy and discovered she had post-transplant lymphoproliferative disorder, a rare form of cancer caused by the Epstein-Barr virus (EBV) and taking required immunosuppressants transplant recipients need so they don’t reject their new organs. Monique didn’t know she had contracted EBV, a virus that can live dormant for years.
Did You Know? Transplant recipients are most at risk of developing post-transplant lymphoproliferative disorder within the first five years of receiving their transplant.
Monique began her first round of chemotherapy in February 2023, which lasted an exhausting 12 weeks. About 85% of her cancer was gone by the end of her treatment, so her doctors recommended a more rigorous form of chemotherapy. She started the second round of chemotherapy in July 2023 and was cancer-free by that December.
Monique remembers the end of chemotherapy as an extremely challenging time in her life. Her body was sensitive to treatment, resulting in low blood levels. She underwent eight blood transfusions and was constantly fatigued. Sadly, she was also grieving the sudden loss of her father, who passed away at the age of 99.
Monique’s Dessert Celebration: Honoring Her Heartaversary and Being Cancer Free
Once she was feeling strong again, Monique hosted a dessert party with her friends and family to celebrate her heartaversary and being six months cancer-free in July 2024. She went to the Wegmans’ bakery and got one baked good of everything in the pastry case. Monique and her friends enjoyed the sweet treats. She even made a pin for everyone to wear that read, “Six months cancer-free” to honor beating the odds twice. After reflecting on her journey, Monique feels grateful for even the tough days.
“I recommend journaling and documenting everything so you can look back and see what you have accomplished. It allows you to recognize that you have already won a tough battle. We sometimes forget what we go through during hard times, but if you can go back and reflect, it can encourage you to appreciate your journey. Enjoy the present and moments you have with your family and know that this too is just a season.” –Monique
Meeting Her Donor’s Daughter: A Heartfelt Connection
Around Christmas time in 2017, Monique was staying at her sister’s house as she was recovering from chemotherapy. She had weeks of mail piled up and was starting to feel better, so she decided to sort through everything. In the mail, she had received a letter from a young woman named Alissa, who told Monique she was her heart donor’s daughter. Monique cried when she read the letter and went on Facebook to find Alissa.
On Facebook, she saw a family picture of her donor and Alissa. The two looked similar. Monique reached out via social media and they began texting. Whenever Monique had an appointment to check her heart health, she would send Alissa her heart echoes so Alissa could feel connected to her mom. Anytime Alissa receives a heart echo from Monique, it makes her day.
One day, Monique’s friend called her and asked her to come over to help decorate for her son’s birthday party. Monique remembers being tired since she was still recovering from chemotherapy but decided to support her friend. When she arrived at her friend’s house, Alissa walked around the corner. Monique was speechless.
“Monique, or Mo as I call her, and I quickly developed a strong relationship with each other. I have a love for her that I really cannot explain in words. We instantly were comfortable talking about anything and everything in life with each other. We vented to each other, and Monique even gave me advice a few times. I now call her my “Mama Mo,” aka my heart mom. I felt right at home. I felt like I belonged. I also felt so much love.”
–Alissa
They spent the weekend together, and Alissa decided to stay at Monique’s house, even though the two had only spoken over the phone and social media. Monique’s favorite moment was when Alissa listened to her mom’s heart. It was an extremely emotional moment for the two of them. Alissa remembers being in the hospital after her mom died and wanting to offer hope and time to other families despite it being the darkest moment of her life. Meeting Monique was a reminder that through her heartbreak, her mom’s gifts of life created a second chance for other families.
That Sunday morning, they watched football and made memories together. Alissa told Monique she had always hoped her mother’s heart would go to a good person and was glad Monique was the recipient. Alissa’s mom was able to donate her kidneys, lungs, liver and heart, saving five lives. She also gave sight to two individuals and healed many more through tissue donation. Alissa wants others to remember her mom for the healthy lifestyle she lived and the meaningful gifts she gave others. Her mom had a lot to offer the world at the end of her life.
“Meeting Monique has been a very imperative part of my healing journey through the traumatic loss I went through. It brought me joy when there was sadness, smiles when there were tears, hope when there was despair… This whole life experience provided me with light in my darkness. It kept me going to witness rare miracles of life, and it restored my faith.”
–Alissa
Today, Monique and Alissa are in contact, bonded through the gift of life. Monique has one of the first cards Alissa sent hanging on her wall, so she can always hold her donor’s memory close. The card has a cowboy hat and boots, which Alissa’s mom loved.
Fun Fact: After Monique’s transplant, she started craving Diet Coke, something she had never enjoyed before her transplant. After writing to Alissa, she discovered Diet Coke was her donor’s favorite drink. This sometimes happens but cannot be clinically explained.
Enjoying Her Second Chance at Life: Making Memories
Once she felt healthy after receiving her heart transplant and finishing chemotherapy, Monique and Asa went on a vegan retreat together to Vieques, an island off the coast of Puerto Rico. Mornings consisted of yoga and a delicious brunch. Monique and Asa spent time on the beach, where they got to relax, go in the water and see wild horses. They even got to travel in the city of Vieques, immersing themselves in its beauty. Monique is grateful for the moments she gets to spend with Asa thanks to her donor.
Register as an Organ, Eye and Tissue Donor: Save Lives Like Monique’s
You have the power to save lives by registering as an organ, eye and tissue donor. We encourage everyone to learn more about the lifesaving impact of organ donation and to get involved with the Donate Life cause.